


The Dread Pirate and the Magister

by sherrisscribbles (annella)



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:29:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6745063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annella/pseuds/sherrisscribbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian ends up being kidnapped by the crew of the Dread Pirate Rutherford, but the pirate captain is the opposite of what Dorian expects.</p>
<p>(For redxluna on tumblr and also day one of Cullrian Appreciation Week: Courting)</p>
<p>Somewhat influenced by The Princess Bride. :)</p>
<p>NOW WITH ART!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dread Pirate and the Magister

They’ve been out at sea for a few hours when Cullen finds him. Sitting next to a barrel near the stern, his arms wrapped around his knees, looking thoroughly miserable.

“Who the hell are you?” Cullen asks, frowning at the man. He’s pretty pathetic looking -- on shore, he might be handsome and dashing, with beautiful brown skin and jet black hair and a mustache which shouldn't look that good on _anyone_ \-- but right now he’s damp, tattered, and red-eyed.

The man glares up at him. "Leave me alone," he spits.

Cullen's a little taken aback, and scratches his head in confusion. He's just about to question the man further when he spots Jim not far away and roars at him to _get the hell over here_.

"Uh, yes captain?" Jim wrings his hands, his eyes darting sideways to the bedraggled man and back to Cullen again.

" _Please_ explain," Cullen says firmly.

Jim coughs and yanks his cap off. "We, uh, found him. Lurking around the docks. It was a bit of a laugh, sir!"

"A _bit of a laugh_?"

"He was giving us attitude, so me 'n some of the lads thought it'd be funny to drag him on board and threaten to kidnap him…"

"Please tell me you didn't…"

"And uh, I guess we forgot about him." Jim twists his cap in his hands, his face a picture of misery.

"Maker take you, Jim, and all your useless friends," Cullen mutters, then dismisses him with a wave of his hand.

Once he's gone, he crouches down to take a better look at the man. Tevinter, by the looks of him, and judging by the once-fine clothes that are now barely hanging off his body by threads, quite a wealthy one too. Cullen wonders what he'd been doing lurking around the docks of Denerim. "You're a long way from home," he says.

"Even longer now, thanks to your crew," the man replies bitterly. "Now can you _please_ take me back?"

Cullen shakes his head. "Sorry. I don't know if you quite realise the situation you've got yourself into--"

"Got _myself_ into?" he splutters indignantly.

"--but we won't be making port for several weeks. Come on, I'll show you." He stands up and offers the man a hand to get up. Despite a suspicious glare, the man takes his hand and hauls himself to his feet.

They make their way up to the quarterdeck, every crew member they pass looking guiltily at the man and Cullen. Rylen is up there, and he glares at the man when they reach the top of the steps.

"Stowaway, captain?" he asks. "Want me to toss him overboard?"

"That won't be necessary," Cullen murmurs. "It seems Jim and his friends were playing a prank and it's gone wrong." He holds his hand out and says, "Update me."

Rylen nods and passes his spyglass to Cullen. "They aren't gaining on us, but I wouldn't suggest easing off just yet."

Cullen raises the glass to his eye and peers at the ships giving chase off in the distance. He passes it on to the strange man and points to where he should be looking.

"You're being chased?" the man asks. "Why? Are they pirates?"

Rylen bursts out laughing and Cullen smiles. "I'm terribly sorry to have to break it to you," he says, patting the man on a shoulder, "but _we're_ the pirates."

"He's Captain Cullen Rutherford," Rylen says. "You mighta heard of him."

"Oh, fuck," the man whispers. "Dread Pirate Rutherford?"

"Still call me that, do they?" Cullen can't help but be amused by the nickname, even after all these years.

The man looks panicky, eyes darting around as if he's going to find an escape route. Then his shoulders slump in defeat. "Can we just get this over with, then?"

"Get what over with?" Cullen has an inkling of what the man's talking about, but considering how his crew like to spread ever more outrageous rumours every time they're in port, it could be something completely new.

"The ritual dismemberment. Can you make it quick? I've fallen pretty far these past few weeks, I'd really quite like for the end to come with a minimum of torture."

Cullen blinks. "Rylen?"

"On it, captain." His first mate leaves the quarterdeck with a determined expression on his face.

"I'm terribly sorry," Cullen says quietly, "but that was just a rumour. I've never done that."

The man looks up at him, frowning. "What about the ritual humiliation?"

"Nope. And, before you ask, I do _not_ like to take advantage of any prisoners." He coughs. "If you get my drift."

"This is all very unexpected." He frowns at Cullen. "So what now?"

Cullen shrugs. "We'll be in Antiva City in a few weeks. I have a safe dock there as long as my crew don't cause trouble. I can drop you off there, if you like."

"And in the meantime?"

"This isn't a pleasure cruise. In return for food and board, I'll expect you to pull your weight. And I'll also need your name."

The man sighs. "I suppose. My name is Dorian. Of House Pavus."

"From Minrathous? I've heard of your family." Cullen frowns. "Not good things, either."

"This, from a pirate?" Dorian laughs. "But yes. You're right. There are very few good things about my family. Now can we move on? Perhaps you might have something else I can wear, yes?" He plucks at the rags, and Cullen's eyes are immediately drawn to the amount of skin showing through.

"Of course. Come with me."

 

The crew eye Dorian as he follows Cullen into the bowels of the ship. They aren't friendly looks, either; some of them are downright hostile. He sticks close to the captain, who has shown a surprising amount of decency considering his reputation. A supply room yields a brand new old tunic and trousers for Dorian to wear, along with a weatherbeaten and tattered cloak for inclement weather.

"Shoes?" he asks, glancing down at Cullen's sturdy boots. He'd noticed that most of the crew went barefoot, but his feet were already cracked and sore from the brief time he'd been without footwear. Cullen glances down as well and nods, rummaging through the stores until he produces a pair of worn out boots. Better than nothing, Dorian concedes, and strips off what remains of his robes to pull on the new clothing. Cullen clears his throat and turns his back, eliciting a smile from Dorian.

So much for the _Dread Pirate Rutherford_. The man is a puppy.

"I, ah, I don't think it would be safe for you to bunk with the crew," Cullen says, his back still turned as Dorian tugs the boots on. They don't fit very well, but then nothing really does. The trousers were made for a much larger man, and he retrieves his still-intact belt to tie around his waist and prevent them from falling down.

"So you want me to sleep on deck? That sounds miserable."

"No. I'll have some extra blankets brought to my cabin. You can sleep on the floor in there. It'll be a lot quieter than the crew quarters."

Dorian frowns and touches Cullen's elbow. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Cullen turns and gives him a half smile. "I don't know what happened to you, but a few years ago I found myself abandoned on a ship with a crew I didn't know and a captain I'd heard terrifying rumours about." He shrugs. "And now…"

Dorian blinks. "But Dread Pirate Rutherford has been around for at least twenty years!" Now that he thinks about it, Cullen looks like he's in his early thirties, at a stretch. Something isn't right here.

"The name has, yes. The man changes." He picks up the remains of Dorian's old clothes and hands them to him. "Come on, I'll show you my cabin."

 

If this is the largest cabin in the ship, Dorian would hate to see what other senior crew members get. There's about enough room for a bed built onto one wall and a desk and chair in a corner. He supposes the bed is probably a little wider than what the others get -- you could even cram two people in there, if you wanted to. He glances at Cullen and, despite himself, blushes.

It's not his fault, really. The man is tall and _very_ well-built, with a friendly face and a mop of blond curls that Dorian wouldn't mind digging his fingers into. Cullen glances at him, catching him staring, but instead of the expected frown, Dorian receives a blinding smile. "I know," he says, and chuckles softly. "Not much room. Hope you don't snore."

Dorian's stomach growls, and he suddenly realises he's gone most of the day without eating. Cullen hears it, above the creak and groan of the ship, and grins. "Hungry?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Dorian admits. "I always thought I would be terribly seasick if I ever went on a boat, but this isn't too bad."

Cullen nods approvingly. "Some folk take months to find their sea legs. You may be a natural. Come on, the mess is this way. It's time for supper anyway."

 

Dorian's relieved to find that there is a separate mess room for senior crew, and he's not expected to eat with the people who grabbed him off the docks and shoved him onto a ship. He's not entirely sure he wouldn't set the man called Jim on fire.

"So, Tevinter, huh?" Rylen asks as they start in on their food. It's surprisingly good, which Dorian attributes to them having only recently made port. "Are you a magister?"

Dorian sighs. "No, I'm not a magister, although I _am_ a mage." He quietly gathers his mana, ready to place a barrier if anyone reacts badly.

"A mage?" Cullen says with a frown. "Then how did you get captured? Jim and his ilk aren't exactly talented fighters."

Dorian sighs and rubs his face. "I was a little indisposed."

"Drunk?"

Dorian glares at the imposing woman who asked. She smiles serenely back at him, the scar on her face showing up vividly in the dim lantern light.

"Yes, fine, I was a little drunk. I couldn't quite grasp my mana."

There's a scattering of laughter from around the table, and Dorian feels, not for the first time, like he's stepped into some strange world where pirates settle down for dinner like civilised people.

Conversation continues throughout dinner and Dorian sits quietly at the end of the table, glad of the lack of attention for once. He relaxes a little, listening to Rylen tell a story with expansive gestures and hiding a smile at the way Cassandra laughs so hard she snorts. He happens to glance at Cullen, sitting next to him, and smiles a little wider at the fond look on the man's face.

Cullen notices him looking and grants him a smile, one which has Dorian blushing a little and turning back to his dinner.

_Don't be ridiculous, Pavus. Sleeping with a pirate captain only happens in bad romance novels_.

 

Dorian is going to be a problem.

Cullen already realised this during dinner when he caught the Tevinter staring and smiled back. Dorian had blushed a lovely dark pink and turned back to his meal in confusion, and Cullen had quickly taken a swig of his wine to try to cover his own blush.

Now he's lying awake listening to Dorian shift around on the floor as he tries to get comfortable. Cullen wonders if he could have wrangled getting a hammock strung up in his cabin, but he's not entirely sure Dorian would have actually wanted to sleep in it. Hammocks take practice, and Cullen's glad that he quickly climbed through the ranks on the ship to graduate to an actual bed.

Dorian's shivering. Cullen can hear his stuttering breath and he glances over to see him wrapped tightly in the meager amount of blankets Cullen had been able to find.

"Are you cold?" he asks. Dorian rolls over and sees Cullen awake, and nods.

"Not quite used to this whole sleeping on a ship thing," he confesses. He looks beautiful in the silver light of the moon filtering through the window, and Cullen's heart beats a little faster and harder in his chest.

They stare at each other for a few seconds before Cullen shifts over and tosses the covers back. "Come on," he says, "there's room for two."

"Am I trapped in some lewd romance novel?" Dorian asks, but he doesn't hesitate in getting off the floor and joining Cullen in the narrow bed. He brings the extra blankets, piling them on top before burrowing underneath.

"Quite possibly," Cullen murmurs. "I _am_ the Dread Pirate Rutherford, after all."

"Not quite what I expected from such a _dread pirate_ ," Dorian says breathily. He worms his way close to Cullen, his cold body leaching heat from Cullen, and Cullen winces as he wraps his arms around Dorian.

"Do you want--" Cullen's face is so close to Dorian's that he can feel the mage's breath on his lips. He _wants_ him, so badly, but there are at least _some_ rumours about him that he refuses to make a reality.

"Very much," Dorian breathes, and kisses him.

 

Dorian _is_ in an alternate reality, a reality in which he gets kidnapped by pirates and then seduced by the captain. Considering the turns his life has made over the past month, he's really not too surprised.

In fact, right now he's feeling pretty damned good about how events in his life led him to this: lying in a narrow bed wrapped up in the ridiculously well-muscled arms of a pirate captain intent on ravishing him.

And make no mistake of it, Cullen is _intent_. After checking with Dorian to make sure that yes, this is something he wants, Dorian finds himself on his back with Cullen on top of him, their bodies pressed together as they kiss desperately. Their harsh breaths even drown out the creak of the ship and splash of the waves outside, and Dorian moans softly when Cullen shifts atop him to grind their hips together.

"Fuck," he forces out, grabbing Cullen's ass and pulling him in for more. They're both still frustratingly clothed, and Cullen whimpers into his mouth when Dorian jerks his hips up to rub against him.

"Let me just--" Cullen starts, and pulls away. Dorian whines and reaches after him and Cullen laughs, batting away his hands before pulling his tunic over his head and providing Dorian a whole new playground to explore.

"And your trousers," Dorian demands, his eyes roving over Cullen's chest. His pale, freckled skin, with more than a few scars and a fine scattering of blond hair, almost shines in the moonlight, and Dorian slides his hands up Cullen's sides and around his back. He's radiating heat, a heat which Dorian longs to have pressed against him again.

"I don't see you reciprocating," Cullen points out, shifting back so Dorian can sit up. He tugs at the ties holding his trousers closed and Dorian's eyes are drawn directly to the visible bulge at his crotch.

Dorian's never been one to hold back in a situation like this. He flings his shirt off and shimmies out of his trousers as Cullen laughs and pushes his own overly-tight trousers down over his ass.

His cock is a fine thing to behold, pink and firm as it juts out from his groin. Dorian bites his lip and can't resist sliding a hand over it, relishing Cullen's sharp inhale and soft moan.

"Come here," he whispers, lying back down and pulling Cullen down with him. It's been an absolute _shit_ of a day for Dorian, but lying naked in bed with such an exquisitely crafted man makes it all worth it.

There's little finesse. With nothing to use as lube but spit and prayer, they wrap their hands around each other's cocks and clumsily kiss as they stroke and gasp together.

It's almost laughable how quickly it's all over. Dorian groans, his back arching as he comes into Cullen's hand, and Cullen grunts and follows him mere seconds later.

"I'm not cold anymore," Dorian mentions. They should move, clean up, but Cullen seems just as reluctant as him to do anything except lie there and languidly kiss each other.

"I'm glad," Cullen murmurs, and _nuzzles_ Dorian.

"Some dread pirate you are."

 

Four weeks later they arrive in Antiva City. Dorian stands on the quarterdeck with Cullen, waiting for his turn with the spyglass. He's a lot more comfortable now, especially since during the second week of his captivity they had taken a small merchant ship and managed to outfit Dorian in much better clothes.

"There," Cullen says, and passes the glass to Dorian. He peers through the lens at the distant towers of Antiva City and his stomach sinks a little.

"Still planning to drop me off here?" he says lightly.

Cullen glances at him and then at Rylen, who interprets his captain's look correctly and takes his leave. Dorian has spent every night of the past four weeks in Cullen's cabin, and the entire ship knows. There are no secrets in quarters as tight as this. He's pretty sure everyone approves, as no one has looked like they wanted to spit on him since that first day.

"If you want," Cullen replies. "I mean. You've more than earned your passage -- the way you fought in the battle with that Rivaini ship was amazing -- and, well." He rubs the back of his neck. "I quite like having you around."

He looks over at Dorian, his eyes wide and sad. Puppy dog eyes, completely out of place on a pirate captain.

"There's nothing for me on land anymore," Dorian says quietly. The story of what his father had planned for him had come out after a few days, and Cullen wraps an arm around Dorian's waist and pulls him in for a hug.

"Then stay," he whispers directly into Dorian's ear.

"We'll add it to the legend," Dorian replies, a wide smile splitting his face. "Dread Pirate Rutherford and his _Magister lover_."

"Finally, a rumour I can get behind," Cullen says, laughing, and Dorian can't resist kissing him in full view of the entire ship.

**Author's Note:**

> art commissioned from [caddick](http://caddick.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> [Non-fandom tumblr](http://sherribon.tumblr.com)  
> [Fandom tumblr](http://sherrisscribbles.tumblr.com)  
> come say hi!


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